Fighting Stage 4 Leiomyosarcoma one day at a time

Hello Everyone,

Thank You for visiting, I initially started this blog to keep family and close friends updated on our journey to Houston Texas, to visit with Dr. Burzynski, a world renowned doctor, who specializes in cancer.

A year and a half ago, MB was diagnosed with stage 4 Uterine Leiomyosarcoma and given no more than a year to live.

MB is only 50, she hasn't seen any of her kids get married or have babies. She still has a thirst for life, three kids and a Husband who absolutely adores her. My sister is 23 and youngest brother only 17. We still need our Mama Bear. If you are, or were, blessed enough to have an MB like mine, who has always loved you unconditionally and supported you, you will know how we feel. Nothing can replace a mother's love. Nothing.

Because MB's cancer is very aggressive, we had no time to waste. The very same day the doctor told us to prepare for hospice, MB and I said, "Fu*k That!", Hospice is a dirty word at our house.We started applying to the Burzynski Clinic as soon as we got home from the doctors appointmet, after 3 days of collecting medical records and sending faxes we were finally accepted.We never took time to think, we just acted. No more than a week and half after we were told to go home and prepare for death, we were on a plane headed to Houston TX in search of life and a second chance. We've left California and our family during Thanksgiving.

Even though the treatment is crazy expensive and we are away from home during the holidays, this is still the best decision we ever made. Sometimes you have to bet big to win big!

We aren't the Kardashians, we are just the Vargas' and we are going through the "realest" hardest battle of our lives...This is our story....If you'd like to start reading from the very beginning click on November, on the lower right hand side of the page and the very first post is the "Adventure Begins"

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

When she cries at night and she doesn't think that I can hear her...

Soulmates!
MB is a strong woman, but at times, she too, has her moments. This last week has been tough. Everytime I look at her, I see that "look", its her "maybe I should just give up" look. She goes through so much pain and discomfort a day that I don't blame her for having these moments. When I see her like this I just ask if she wants to talk about it and right away she cries. Even though it tears me up to see her cry I'm thankful that she trusts me enough to let go and express her feelings. Today, I walked in her room and she just asked, "why? what did I do to deserve this?!, she wanted to know why she couldn't just die fast?, why all the suffering?!, why?!?!?!?!?!?". I could not answer her question. It pains me to see MB suffer, it pains me even more to know that, had the proper tests been done in February of 2009 MB wouldn't be suffering like this. My heart hurts for her everyday.
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