Fighting Stage 4 Leiomyosarcoma one day at a time

Hello Everyone,

Thank You for visiting, I initially started this blog to keep family and close friends updated on our journey to Houston Texas, to visit with Dr. Burzynski, a world renowned doctor, who specializes in cancer.

A year and a half ago, MB was diagnosed with stage 4 Uterine Leiomyosarcoma and given no more than a year to live.

MB is only 50, she hasn't seen any of her kids get married or have babies. She still has a thirst for life, three kids and a Husband who absolutely adores her. My sister is 23 and youngest brother only 17. We still need our Mama Bear. If you are, or were, blessed enough to have an MB like mine, who has always loved you unconditionally and supported you, you will know how we feel. Nothing can replace a mother's love. Nothing.

Because MB's cancer is very aggressive, we had no time to waste. The very same day the doctor told us to prepare for hospice, MB and I said, "Fu*k That!", Hospice is a dirty word at our house.We started applying to the Burzynski Clinic as soon as we got home from the doctors appointmet, after 3 days of collecting medical records and sending faxes we were finally accepted.We never took time to think, we just acted. No more than a week and half after we were told to go home and prepare for death, we were on a plane headed to Houston TX in search of life and a second chance. We've left California and our family during Thanksgiving.

Even though the treatment is crazy expensive and we are away from home during the holidays, this is still the best decision we ever made. Sometimes you have to bet big to win big!

We aren't the Kardashians, we are just the Vargas' and we are going through the "realest" hardest battle of our lives...This is our story....If you'd like to start reading from the very beginning click on November, on the lower right hand side of the page and the very first post is the "Adventure Begins"

Monday, December 26, 2011

A Christmas Present from me to you.....

A pie I made someone buy from scratch;)

MB's disease has taught me many things but the most important thing I've learned is to not waste time. Every second of the day is a gift. Use it wisely, Love harder, give more, nuture your relationships and laugh. Our time on this earth is limited and we all have to make the most of it.

When I was younger, I spent my time and energy worrying over the stupidest things. I'd constantly beat myself up over not being skinny enough, not having a boyfriend, not having a cool job. One year I actually didn't leave the house because I was so ashamed of my non-acomplishments. What a waste.

Now, when faced with real issues, I, without knowing it, made a choice. Since MB got sick I've chosen to stay positive and look at the bright side. I never even cry anymore because crying to me is like admitting defeat. Why cry? why sit home depressed? why waste another second of my life on negativity. I choose LIFE. I choose to wear the tight red dress even though I may be a little to thick for it. Who cares, I feel good in it so like MB says, "Fuck It!". I choose to stick with the stuff that feeds my soul.

So from me to you, don't give up on yourself. Remember, we all have a gift, all we have to do is find it and nurture it. Before all of this went down I remember praying, asking God to help me find my talent so I could start using it and here I am writing, protesting. Who Knew I had it in me?

Have no fear, fear is the devil. Before I started protesting PB came up with all these crazy doomsday scenarios that could come from my protest. I ignored him and did what I felt was right and that led to a 10,000 dollar check, news coverage and hopefully soon justice for MB. Never let fear hold you back.

This experience has nurtured my writing. I've found talents I never knew I had. I've strengthened relationships with people I've known for years. I'm even considering politics. Maybe i'll be the first female president. Hey, don't put it past me, the sky's the limit and I've just discovered how to use my wings;)

Moral of the story, am I skinny? NO. Do I have a Boyfriend? NO. Am I happier than I've evr been in my life, do I live everyday in Joy? YES! HELL YES!

I encourage each and every one of you to follow your heart, don't be afraid and Love eachother as much as you possibly can! Remember at the end of the day no one will remember if you had the biggest house or the most stuff. People will remember that you showed up when they were down. They will remember your generosity and kindness, thats it!

So, If your an asshole STOP! If your a materialistic bitch put the Gucci down! If more people focused on helping others rather than spend hours at the mall shopping for themselves to make themselves feel good, this world would be a better place!

Traduccion al español:
La enfermedad de MB me ha enseñado muchas cosas, pero lo más importante que he aprendido es a no perder el tiempo. Cada segundo del día es un regalo. Úsalo con sabiduría, amar intensamente, dar más, nutrir sus relaciones y reir. Nuestro tiempo en esta tierra es limitada y todos tenemos que sacar el máximo provecho de ella.

Cuando era más joven, pasaba mi tiempo y energía preocupándose por las cosas más estúpidas. Yo siempre me había golpeado por no ser lo suficientemente delgada, no tener un novio, no tener un trabajo genial. Un año no sali de casa porque yo estaba tan avergonzado de mi. Qué desperdicio.

Ahora, cuando se enfrentan a problemas reales, que, sin saberlo, tomó una decisión. Desde MB se enfermó he optado por mantener una actitud positiva y mirar el lado positivo. Yo nunca lloro más porque el llanto para mí es como admitir la derrota. ¿Por qué llorar? ¿por qué quedarse en casa deprimido? ¿por qué perder ni un segundo de mi vida en la negatividad. Yo escojo la vida. Yo elijo usar el vestido rojo ajustado a pesar de que puede ser un poco gorda para él. A quién le importa, me siento bien en ella así que como dice MB Fuck It! Yo elijo seguir con las cosas que alimenta mi alma.

Así que de mí para ti, no te des a ti mismo. Recuerde que todos tenemos un don, todo lo que tenemos que hacer es encontrarlo y alimentarlo. Antes de todo esto cayó Recuerdo haber orado pidiendo a Dios que me ayudara a encontrar el talento para poder comenzar a usarlo y aquí estoy escribiendo, protestando. Que sabía que yo tenía en mí?

No tengas miedo, el miedo es el diablo. Antes de empezar a protestar PB vino para arriba con todos esos escenarios apocalípticos loco que pudieran derivarse de mi protesta. No le hice caso e hice lo que sentía que estaba bien y que dio lugar a una donacion de 10.000 dólares, la cobertura de noticias y esperamos la justicia lo mas antes posible de MB. Nunca dejes que el miedo te detenga.

Esta experiencia ha nutrido mi escritura. He descubierto talentos que nunca supe que había. He fortalecido las relaciones con la gente que he conocido por años. Incluso estoy considerando la política. Tal vez voy a ser la primera mujer presidente. Hey, no lo pongas por delante de mí, el cielo es el límite y he descubierto cómo usar mis alas;)

Moraleja de la historia, yo soy flaco? NO. ¿Tengo un novio? NO. Estoy más feliz que he sido por siempre en mi vida, puedo vivir cada día en la alegría? ¡SÍ! HELL YES!

Animo a todos y cada uno de ustedes para seguir a su corazón, no tengas miedo y amor entre si tanto como te sea posible! Recuerde que al final del día nadie va a recordar si tenía la casa más grande o más cosas. La gente recordará que apareció cuando estaban abajo. Se recordará su generosidad y bondad, eso es todo!

Por lo tanto, Si más gente se centrara en ayudar a los demás, en lugar de pasar horas en el centro comercial por sí mismos para sentirse bien, este mundo sería un lugar mejor!

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