Once we were safely in the air, my mom’s lungs still in tact, I was free to focus on the old, bitter, racist lady sitting in the seat next to me. Me and “Grumpy Bitter Grams”, which I so dearly started to refer to her as after our first encounter did not hit it off at all. Within the first 10 minutes of the flight I accidentally grazed her pants with the bottom of my boots as I was getting situated and she yelled at me to get my feet OFF HER!”. No, the bitch didn’t even say please, and I grazed her,my boots touched her for less than a second! As the flight progressed we continued to have friction, she was very territorial of her space and the slightest elbow graze would incite her to give me the dirtiest looks. When my Mom and I were talking she would huff and grunt annoyingly but never told us to stop talking.
Later in the flight I started burping and my burps were funky because mama bear and I decided to have garlic fries at the airport while we were waiting to board. Normally I would be really embarrassed and try to burp away from people but today my Burps were loaded ammo against the evilest lady I have met to date. Everytime I felt a burp coming on I would turn towards Grumpy Gram to make sure she got a whiff of what was coming…..I know I know Im evil but I couldn’t tell her off because I was with my Mom and couldn’t risk getting kicked off the plane, the flight was full so I couldn’t go to another seat. This was my only line of defense people. After I burped I could feel her evil stare piercing through me…..muahahaahah, I was clearly getting to her.
When we finally landed the captain said we could turn on our cell phones which I did, but Grumpy Gram didn’t hear his announcement cause she’s old and she proceeded to tell another old grumpy person that “some people were turning on their phones before they were supposed to, (as she said this she blatantly pointed at me) but I guess that’s just what happens when you fly with, ‘SIMPLE’ people” . Yes the bitch called me and my Mama Bear simple! Funny thing is this isn’t even the rudest thing she said. As we were waiting for people to get off the plane another Hispanic passenger in front of us pulled out a bag and her friend asked whats in your bag and the Hispanic lady said a burrito…..Are you ready to hear what this old bitter white lady said under her breath after she heard that????.....She said, “ It figures”. Wow really?? welcome to Arizona I guess.
My mom didn’t hear any of this because she was in the window seat but when I told her as we were getting off the plane she just laughed and said that’s just how some people are meanwhile I’m still wishing to one day run into Grumpy Grams and slap her in the face.
We took another flight from Pheonix to Houston and both sat in the middle seat booo. Finally arrived in Houston and the nice rental car guy gave us a ride to our hotel for 20 bux. Right now my mom’s crashed out on the hotel bed Im typing away while we wait for our gourmet papa johns pizza. As we sleep tonight we secretly hope and dream that we’ve come all this way for something. More to come tomorrow sweet dreams;)