Fighting Stage 4 Leiomyosarcoma one day at a time

Hello Everyone,

Thank You for visiting, I initially started this blog to keep family and close friends updated on our journey to Houston Texas, to visit with Dr. Burzynski, a world renowned doctor, who specializes in cancer.

A year and a half ago, MB was diagnosed with stage 4 Uterine Leiomyosarcoma and given no more than a year to live.

MB is only 50, she hasn't seen any of her kids get married or have babies. She still has a thirst for life, three kids and a Husband who absolutely adores her. My sister is 23 and youngest brother only 17. We still need our Mama Bear. If you are, or were, blessed enough to have an MB like mine, who has always loved you unconditionally and supported you, you will know how we feel. Nothing can replace a mother's love. Nothing.

Because MB's cancer is very aggressive, we had no time to waste. The very same day the doctor told us to prepare for hospice, MB and I said, "Fu*k That!", Hospice is a dirty word at our house.We started applying to the Burzynski Clinic as soon as we got home from the doctors appointmet, after 3 days of collecting medical records and sending faxes we were finally accepted.We never took time to think, we just acted. No more than a week and half after we were told to go home and prepare for death, we were on a plane headed to Houston TX in search of life and a second chance. We've left California and our family during Thanksgiving.

Even though the treatment is crazy expensive and we are away from home during the holidays, this is still the best decision we ever made. Sometimes you have to bet big to win big!

We aren't the Kardashians, we are just the Vargas' and we are going through the "realest" hardest battle of our lives...This is our story....If you'd like to start reading from the very beginning click on November, on the lower right hand side of the page and the very first post is the "Adventure Begins"

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The wind beneath my wings

Not only is she kind beyond belief, she's also really really HOT!

Everyone's always telling me how proud they are of me. I always feel a little weird when I hear that. I just think that what I do for MB is what any daughter would do for their Mom. Today, I was reading an excerpt from Kris Jenner, Kim Ks mom, from her new book, "How to be a sluttacious superficial whore and raise other sluttacious superficial whores" j/k (relax, I didn't buy the book, it was in people magazine). She said that when she had her facelift Kim slept on the floor of her hospital room all night and never left her side. That automatically reminded me of the time MB was hospitalized when she was hemorraging. I wanted to sleep in the chair next to her all night, I just didn't want to leave. There is something about the bond between a mother and daughter that is sooo special that even  a superficial reality star can't avoid it.

I also feel guilty when people tell me I'm doing a great job. Trust me, I could be better. Somedays, I get so angry and annoyed that I take it out on MB and make her feel bad. At times, I secretly resent her for what we are going through. That doesn't last for long but they are feelings that I have, they are real, they are raw and they are not always pretty.

The true rockstar is my little sister. Her patience astounds me. She works part-time, comes home, helps out around the house and even runs errands for MB when MB gets tired of asking me to do stuff for her. On the weekends, she stays home and takes over MB duties while I go out with my friends to de-stress. My lil sis is an Angel, she really is. Just last night, she heard MB cough at 2am, she woke up and brought her cough syrup and offered to make her tea. She would. My sis is quiet, never asks for or expects recognition, she's not an attention whore like me and because of that sometimes I don't think she gets the credit she deserves. If anyone deserves to be told they are doing a great job its her. I still harbor a lot of anger, frustration and fear that I unfortunately direct towards my family and she teaches me to stay calm and carry on. If it wasn't for her I'd probably already beat the crap out of my little brother and maybe run away from home. She is definitely the calm to my storm and without her none of this would be possible. Love You Jeannette!

This ones for you boo!

No comments:

Post a Comment