Ever since I began caring for MB I began to feel like the Mama Bear, not just to her, but to my siblings as well. Whenever I write, say or do anything it's not just for myself but for those less vocal around me.
In the two previous blogs I asked that people not only give our family space but that they call before they come. Once a visit was scheduled I asked that people please act as normal as possible. I don't ask these things because I feel a crazy need to control people, I ask these things to protect MB and my family. MB is not the only one worn out by visitors, My siblings and father are as well. I'm not trying to keep MB hostage, I just want her and my immediate family comfortable because it truly makes for a more happy and peaceful home.
There are still some people that feel that they are above these rules because they think, "Oh well I'm her Mom, or brother or sister in law or niece or nephew, I can show up whenever I want." My response to that is ughhh NO no you can't! Yes, MB is special to you but you still have to respect not just her wishes but Our wishes and our immediate family. My sister is pregnant, my dad works a full time job, we want our home to be a place where we can relax. It's frustrating to walk into your own house and see a "visitor" no matter who they are and have to talk to them. Small talk is exhausting! Please put yourself in our shoes for just on second and respect us and our wishes. Also, there are many things that our immediate family need to discuss in private, logistical things, painful things and we need our privacy now more than ever!
Another excuse I hear a lot is, "well your Mom enjoys my company I can stay as long as I please." Again No! We as her caretakers are exhausted and are not in the mood for long visits. We sleep on the floor next to her to make sure she is ok during the night, we prepare all of her meals, we clean, we cook , we need our space to re-energize as well. I think if you all begin to look at the bigger picture you can understand where my family is coming from. If you still want to see me as an "evil control freak" than I guess that will have to be your problem.
I have blown up on some people and I apologize for that but if you know the rules and you feel like doing whatever you want anyway be prepared to get a mouthful from me because I not only speak for myself, I speak for my sister, dad, brother and everyone else who lives in this house and is exhausted. I would LOVE to thank the people that already text and call and arrange their visits in advance. That simple act is so helpful and makes things easier on MB and the entire family. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but it is. In a family as big as ours its imperative that people schedule visits!
From now on I ask that EVERYONE text me (408-416-1815)and ask me when a good time to come is. If I don't confirm the visit please don't be surprised if I'm rude when you arrive, tell you off, or not even let you in. That's it, i'm not playing anymore.Some who have known me a long time know of my explosive nature. Those who don't don't be surprised when you see it because I protect my family with the wrath of a Lioness protecting her cubs. MB and my family is just so tired. I hope none of you take this personally this is just how I protect and love my family. That's it. Also, there are many ways to show you care and make your presence known, write a letter, send some flowers, leave a VM you don't have to visit. Here is our address, 157 Venado Wy, SJ CA 95123. I hope this is clear and everyone gets it now.
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