Fighting Stage 4 Leiomyosarcoma one day at a time

Hello Everyone,

Thank You for visiting, I initially started this blog to keep family and close friends updated on our journey to Houston Texas, to visit with Dr. Burzynski, a world renowned doctor, who specializes in cancer.

A year and a half ago, MB was diagnosed with stage 4 Uterine Leiomyosarcoma and given no more than a year to live.

MB is only 50, she hasn't seen any of her kids get married or have babies. She still has a thirst for life, three kids and a Husband who absolutely adores her. My sister is 23 and youngest brother only 17. We still need our Mama Bear. If you are, or were, blessed enough to have an MB like mine, who has always loved you unconditionally and supported you, you will know how we feel. Nothing can replace a mother's love. Nothing.

Because MB's cancer is very aggressive, we had no time to waste. The very same day the doctor told us to prepare for hospice, MB and I said, "Fu*k That!", Hospice is a dirty word at our house.We started applying to the Burzynski Clinic as soon as we got home from the doctors appointmet, after 3 days of collecting medical records and sending faxes we were finally accepted.We never took time to think, we just acted. No more than a week and half after we were told to go home and prepare for death, we were on a plane headed to Houston TX in search of life and a second chance. We've left California and our family during Thanksgiving.

Even though the treatment is crazy expensive and we are away from home during the holidays, this is still the best decision we ever made. Sometimes you have to bet big to win big!

We aren't the Kardashians, we are just the Vargas' and we are going through the "realest" hardest battle of our lives...This is our story....If you'd like to start reading from the very beginning click on November, on the lower right hand side of the page and the very first post is the "Adventure Begins"

Thursday, February 2, 2012

My Numero Uno Roll Dog

MB loved dressing up her little Lady

MB and I WERE sister's in a past life, I just know it. Our relationship has never been typical. If you've ever been lucky enough to see us interact you'd just laugh. The other day I was asking my friend if she'd ever tried the Diaphragm as a form of Birth Control, MB side busted and yelled, "have you ever tried being celibate!?". She would.

I am eight years older than my siblings and my Parents married young, so PB was out drinking a lot with his buddies. This left  plenty of MB and WMV (wild Mariela Vargas) one on one time. I remember MB dressing me up and curling my hair, I was a Mexican Shirley Temple. She'd take me to Kindergarten all dressed up and then when she'd picked me up she intuitively knew that everyone had given me compliments. My five year old self thought she was psychic. When I had BF in preschool she would let me buy him the coolest water guns there were! My 4 year old BF bought me a box of  100 crayons. I was dissapointed to say the least, I went all out of my way to make MB buy him the BEST Super Squirt and I get CRAYONS....REALLY! Even back then, MB was offering her very best words of wisdom. She'd tell me that it was very nice of him to get me something, and I should thank him for the gesture. Egh, as much as MB tried to mold me into a polite, nice, reserved young lady it failed. I became my wild, free spirited, spontaneous self and she's loved me every step of the way embracing me just as I am and adapting to my personality. When I was younger she'd leave presents for me on my bed just because. I'd walk in my room and there'd be a brand new lunch box with a radio!...yes my lunch box had a radio. Every night she'd come in my room and  read me a book, when I learned to read I'd rip the book out of her hand and tell her she read to SLOW(english was her 2nd language) so I'd read the book to her instead.

Today, I was talking to a friend, I told her that as soon as MB gets better I'm running away to Tuscany for a year. MB heard part of the conversation and when I went to help her put on her pants she began to tear up and said, "Please don't leave me, your the only reason I'm still alive, no one takes care of me like you" . I quickly assured her that I wasn't going anywhere until she was all better. People are always in Shock of how I take care of my Mother. Why is it so shocking? She treated me like a queen my entire life the least I can do is return the favor. She is the strongest most magnificent woman I know. As we drive to doctors appointments she constantly entertains me with her cuteness. I was so busy today I didn't get a chance to eat until after her Lymphedema therapy(almost 5 pm) . As I drove home I mentioned I needed to pull over to get a sandwich or else I'd faint, she quickly responded "Me TOO!" in the cutest little voice I'd ever heard her use. Moments like these make me so happy that she's still alive, still sharing her awesomeness with me.

When I see her struggle out of bed and force herself to walk around to help with her Edema, I am in constant awe of her strength. She NEVER gives up EVER and it is my duty, No, my honor to help her fight as long as I possibly can, its the least I can do. She's doing all the hard work, all I have to do is memorize all her meds, get her to all the right doctors and specialists, deal with insurance companies, yell at my little brother, straighten out my dad, make dinner, do laundry, yell at Pharmacists,Organize protests, organize television interviews, write her blog, drive her around and clean. Sitting with her at her appointment exmplifies my current role in MB's life. The doctor asks MB what type of Cancer she has and MB just looks at me and I answer (she knows what kind of cancer she has, she just loves having me as her secretary, I think it makes her feel hella badass, which she IS!), the doctor catches on quicly and directs all further questions to me. MB just sits back and gets her massage. Anytime I feel overwhelmed and sad I just think of the pain she deals with on a daily basis and I yell at myself for being such a pussy! Yeah I can be a little bitch but I straighten myself out, if not, Ada Silva, My Lil Sis and Yazzy Fresh are there to knock some sense into me.

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